Aan Hamdani

Instagram stories made me blog less, and my attention span for writing this post became shorter. Nevertheless, today I managed to cook up this draft. Hari ini, I would like to write or journal about my experience of co-existing with others. We inevitably carry some form of emotional liability toward those we’ve connected with — like certain family members or close friends. With colleagues, it’s usually less so, since there’s already a kind of unspoken agreement: “We’re here to mutually benefit each other while working this job together.” Tapi in this world, there are so many humans with different attitudes, personalities, and characters that we have to co-exist with. Even close family members, friends, and colleagues are all distinct individuals with their own sets of personalities and traits. Co-existing with them creates the dynamics of everyday life. As much as I want to avoid any additional, unnecessary emotional liabilities, I still have the individuals I’m connected to; (those fa...

A bit late, but better late than never right? I’m kicking off 2025 with almost a month of sickness It started with Influenza B then ended up with a lung infection. For nearly a week, I spent at least 16 hours a day lying in bed. As someone with high expectations of myself (thanks to the typical Asian upbringing), I’ve been feeling unproductive and downright depressed, to the point where I’ve started to spiral into self-loathing. Haihh. My lungs’ spirometry test sucks. Being someone who tends to see everything as patterns, I can’t help but overthink this rough start to the year. I’m the kind of person who believes that how something begins often reflects how it will end. My brain keeps whispering, “If the foundation isn’t solid, the end result will be just… meh.” Thanks to the sickness, I’ve started 2025 feeling unmotivated, overwhelmed with self-doubt, and lacking the drive to thrive. I haven’t even set my New Year’s resolutions yet because, well, my brain felt like an empty void while...

Being able to experience sadness is a proof that you're human. Even animals can be upset and sad. So embrace your emotions. Pain demands to be felt. It's the beauty of being alive. There's no certainty that you'll feel the same worldly emotions later on in the afterlife.  Idk what to put as thumbnail, so random ah. Sadness will make you be more grateful of the happiness you less appreciated before. So yeah —Acknowledge your feeling, take time and come back stronger. I am currently experiencing this sad feeling. I had a conflict with my mom—just a petty issue, but due to the differences in how the eldest sibling and the younger one were raised, it feels significant to me. The eldest child grew up while the parents were still experimenting on how to this and that. I am the result of their trials and errors and I can't change the past. My mom is the only mom that I have and her blessing is my everything. P/s: but she's not necessarily correct the entire time! I can...

Life is a set of options that you've chosen. The privileged have more options to choose from while the under-privileged have fewer. We can't choose the family or social status we're born into. So, it's up to us to at least pick the best options offered along the way to progress into someone better than what we were before. I am still learning about myself, my personality, my interpersonal attitude, and what I want to achieve in life. To learn about yourself is a way to love yourself more. Are we being kind to ourselves?

Hello again. First and foremost, I got my car back after almost a month in the workshop due to a stupid accident. Welcome back Xiao Bai (Lil' White). And then, as written in the title, I learn persuasion. So, this new company I'm working for ( not so new because I've been almost a year working here 😅) has this agreement where every one of us needs to apply for a fully compensable training or course every year. And we can pick what we want to learn, as long as it is beneficial to the company. Guess what? I picked this course 'Storytelling and Influencing: Communicate with Impact' from Coursera. If possible, I would've pick 'Survive Apocalypse Course' by the ASRETEC Inc., too bad, people don't take The Walking Dead series seriously. Because I am too empty-minded and have a hard time storing information inside my brain for long, I am going to write some notes and summarize what I've learned in Week 1 of the course. I'll also try to relate som...

Assalamualaikum, world. I have not written a blog post for months. I get the urge to write again because I have trouble sleeping. I have so many thoughts overloading my brain. Itu waktu malam. Waktu siang aku rasa aku macam susah bekerja, haha. Semua input waktu meeting aku rasa macam angin lalu. Am I being too saturated with life's circumstances sampai tak cukup ruang untuk benda baru masuk? This is the use case for having a good companionship to share your thoughts and feelings. I already talked to my mom and my best friend, Diana. Hahhaa, but the storm inside my brain is not subsiding yet. So here are the things happening to me recently in April. Aku accident haritu. Kereta yang aku sayang rosak. Poor Xiao Bai Itu je masalah aku. Hahaha. Siapa je yang tak sayang kereta sendiri? Tapi, apalah sangat masalah aku kalau dibandingkan dengan masalah-masalah maha besar orang-orang sekitar aku. Colleague aku baru meninggal sebab cancer. My circle's friend ada yang masih menganggur. K...